Punk A B
by The Notorious Naurwen
Summary: *rated for language* This is for everyone who thinks that Irvine's a pervert! ^_^ *warning: MAJOR IRVINE BASHING!* He's ok, but I hate him early on in the game! He's Irvy Pervy!


Punk Ass Bitch: A Song Fic.  
  
Written by: Naurwen  
  
Song by: Wheatus! (One of the coolest bands EVER! ^_^)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the song 'Punk Ass Bitch'. That belongs to Wheatus.  
  
Dedicated to: Anyone and everyone who ever thought Irvine was a pervert! (Especially Jeremiah.) ^_^  
  
  
  
Squall and Irvine walked to their next class. At that very moment, Selphie Tilmitt walked past the two boys, smiling cheerily.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Hey, Squall. Hey, Irvine. See ya later at the Quad, 'kay? There's a Garden Festival Committee Meeting. You wouldn't believe how many people are starting to get in involved! It's a dream come true! Bye!" Selphie said, practically bobbing up and down.  
  
"Yeah, I'll be there, see you." Squall replied as Selphie walked away. Irvine and Squall continued walking. Irvine stared blatantly at Selphie's ass. Squall rolled his eyes in complete disgust.  
  
~She wriggles and she wraggles, she jiggles and she jaggles, you stand and watch her pass by, your line of vision ass-eye~  
  
After class, Squall walked to the elevator, on his way to the Quad to help out. When he pushed the 'down' button, he caught Selphie and Zell making out as the doors opened.  
  
"Um . . . hey, Squall. We were just leaving the Headmaster's office. Heh heh . . . " Zell said nervously.  
  
"Relax. It's dies with me." Squall sighed, entering the elevator.  
  
"Thanks." Selphie says as the door opened again. All three exited the elevator and made their way for the Quad.  
  
~ You think that cause she smiles, that you turn all her dials, but you don't see them later, while in the elevator. ~  
  
At the Quad, Irvine kept bugging Selphie for a date. Zell clenched his fists until his knuckles were white and it was obvious that everyone, including Selphie, were pissed off by it.  
  
"Forget it, Irvine. It's not gonna happen." Selphie growled for about the millionth time. Irvine touched her ass and she turned around and slapped him hard across the face. "Word of the wise: that's NOT how you pick up a lady. You're kicked out of the Garden Festival Committee. Permanently." The short brunette snapped. Irvine glared at her and walked out of the Quad.  
  
~You nag her and you swagger, you think you're gonna shag her, a man about the town-a, get funky, let's get down-a, machismo and machasma, turns into miamsa, but you have got no class, no style, no social skills, no comprehension. ~  
  
Later that day, Squall was walking with Rinoa to the Cafeteria for supper and Irvine ran trying to catch up.  
  
"Hey, Squall! Man, wait up!"  
  
"Hyne, what do you want Irvine? Rinoa and I were on our way to our Anniversary Dinner." Squall said, clearly annoyed.  
  
"Did Selphie say anything about me?" He asked.  
  
"Only that you were a moron." Squall smiled a little.  
  
"You know what her problem is?"  
  
~*~ Hyne have mercy on my soul! I can't bear to listen to anymore of this! ~*~ Squall thought.  
  
~I can't deal with this idiot, yeah I must admit, that he's a punk ass bitch! ~  
  
"No, what's her problem?" Squall sighed.  
  
"She knows Ii could give her the best shag in her life and she doesn't want to admit it!" He growled walking away.  
  
"I'm sure that's really it." Squall mumbled sarcastically as he and Rinoa entered the cafeteria.  
  
~You open up your mouth-a, amazed at what comes out-a, it's just a testimony, that your full of bologna, and you're a stupid shit-ass, meathead, Guido, pass-gas, but you have got no class, no style, no social skills, no comprehension, I can't deal with this idiot, yeah I must admit that he's a punk ass bitch, I can't deal with this idiot, yeah I must admit, that he's a punk ass bitch! ~  
  
After a while, Squall began to run that day's events trough his head. Why was Irvine being such an ass? First he stares at Selphie's butt, then grabs it, and then he turns all arrogant. Squall finally came to a realization, and called Irvine.  
  
"What?" Irvine asked.  
  
"I just figured out what your problem is." Squall said, actually hold back chuckles.  
  
"Oh, yeah, smart-ass? Dazzle me." Irvine retorted.  
  
"You're a hormone-happy virgin." And with that, Squall hung up and laughed his head off.  
  
~ You know you want to spangle, but you can't seem to angle, one gives you attitude-a, your reason to be rude-a, you think that cause she smiles, that you turn all her dials, but you don't see them later, while in the elevator, you nag her and you swagger, you think you're gonna shag her, a man about the town-a, get funky, let's get down-a, machismo and machasma, it turns into miamsa, you have got no class, no style, no social skills, no comprehension You open up your mouth-a, amazed at what comes out-a It's just a testimony, that you're full of bologna, that you're a stupid shit- ass, a meathead, Guido, pass gas, but you have got no class, no style, no social skills, no comprehension  
  
I can't deal with this idiot, yeah; I must admit that he's a punk ass bitch! I can't deal with this idiot, yeah; I must admit that he's a punk ass bitch! ~  
  
Author's Notes: Hope ya like it! I know I used this song once before, but it wasn't a big part of the story. REVIEW! AND READ! ^_^ 


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